“I’ll not be outdone!” said I, reading The Times.
“There’s more than one publisher handy with rhymes.
“Inspired by the rhythms of Wellington’s story
“I’ll match the iambics of Councillor C—y.”
And so I will offer, sans further ado,
An account of the County: A Year-in-Review.

Fears about tariffs did open the year
So all of us stayed with our great local beer
(Which duly inspired here more than one line).
The province gave funding for Road 49—
Just as T. Allsopp was seeking a seat,
And CAO Wallace was beating retreat.

Elections besieged us in winter and spring,
And voters leaned Liberal to make Carney king.
“Elbows Up” hit The Regent and here to harangue us
Was working class hero, the good Charlie Angus.
And just to keep balance, the summer would come
And there on the stage was the sage David Frum.

And then there’s the Terminals, the gift that keeps giving!
Their projects unending should make us a living.
Forgive us the accounts of their comings and goings
Their quarries and shipping and, lately, siloings.
So often they’re here, it seems like we’re droning,
If only they’d end Ministerial Zoning!

County Cider and Waring House thirty years celebrated
While milestones were passed and the kids graduated.
The Panthers assembled, in air their hats tossed,
While others remembered the ones whom we’ve lost:
Joe Reid and Steve Campbell, and beloved Jim Young,
Who returned to the earth from which we’re all sprung.

And we lived through a drought, to the farmers’ despair,
But all did their best and attended the Fair.

And then we got sidetracked by fake Rebel News
For calling out folks for their old-fashioned views.

We listened to jazz and some string quartets too,
And movies and paintings and plays did review,
And restauranteurs who cooked with the seasons.
And Council we covered, who denied for good reasons
Developers’ fancies, and some did approve.
From Levee to Budget we watched the year move.

And whither the Council, what will be its size?
And who will be victor when we use our franchise?
And will there be potholes and roundabouts too?
And what about water? will we see all that through?
And will there be chaos at the top of Town Hill?
There’s a plentiful New Year to sharpen our quill!

For now, though, good wishes from all of us here,
To all of our readers throughout the past year.
We’ll see you when Janus does open his gate
And resume then our duty to keep up to date.