Last week it felt like we were going it alone. 

I know, I know. We are not alone. There’s Ukraine. There’s Greenland. Europe has our back. But still. 

Having the U.S. refuse to rule out a military invasion while imposing 25% tariffs, never mind calling us “the 51st state,” and the former PM “guv.” 

It was hard to take. 

But this week we can all sigh a huge sigh of relief. Trump is at war not just with us and a few lucky others with lots of critical mineral deposits, but the whole world! 

Tariffs for all my friends! he announced last week in the Rose Garden — except Russia and North Korea, naturally. But otherwise, America has imposed sanctions everywhere.

The “Liberation Day” announcement was much, much worse than anybody could have anticipated. The slogan itself reminded of the reverse logic of totalitarianism. War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery.

Not only was the “war with the world” announcement bizarrely nonsensical, the charts Trump brandished to make his case that America is being exploited by every single one of its trading partners had no basis in reality.

Once again, we were plunged into la la land.

Trump, leader of the world’s most powerful economy, claimed he was imposing only “reciprocal” tariffs at half the rate the U.S. is forced to contend with by its trading partners, all of whom manipulate their currencies, impose unfair taxes, and erect tariffs as high as 97%, as was claimed of Cambodia.  

Commentators piled on. There was no basis for any of the claims. None of the numbers, which seemed to have come from ChatGPT, made any sense.  

Former treasury secretary Lawrence Summers noted: “the Administration computed reciprocal tariffs without using tariff data. This is to economics what creationism is to biology, astrology is to astronomy, or RFK thought is to vaccine science.”

Others pointed out that Trump’s demand, that the world’s tariff terrorism be dismantled, could not be answered. There is no such terror regime. It cannot be dismantled.

The contrast between this gong show, and what was at stake — within 24 hours the companies in the S&P 500 had lost $2.4 trillion — was mind boggling. 

For Canada, a trillion-dollar bilateral relationship that generates one third of Canada’s GDP is on the line. We imported nearly $350 billion in products from the United States in 2024, making it our largest trading partner. Last year, the U.S. bought 77 percent of the goods Canada sold abroad and provided nearly half of our imports.

We still do not know exactly what Trump plans to make of this relationship.

Meanwhile, perfectly innocent countries, those with no trade barriers, tariffs, or “currency manipulations” of any kind, were hit with shocking tariffs, as high as 60%. For the crime of selling the United States products it wishes to buy. For the crime of selling more to the US than it buys in return (trade deficit). For the crime of selling less to the U.S. than it buys in return (trade surplus). For whatever. For no reason. It was all the same. Tariffs, tariffs everywhere.

“This feels like an August 1914 moment,” said David Frum. “The world is walking into something so crazy, so destructive, so stupid, and so tragically unnecessary, all of it driven by one man’s ignorance and malice.

“The world is on the brink of a catastrophe that could be stopped.” 

Across the following day, the stock market plunge invited comparisons to 1929’s Black Thursday, the start of the Great Depression. Fox News, for the first time in its 28-year history, took down the stock ticker running underneath its programming so its hosts could continue to bleat on about the coming of America’s Golden Age. 

Certainly, it was the largest crash since March 2020, the start of the Covid19 pandemic. 

And yet. There is no pandemic. America is not at war. None of it makes any sense. 

While I pondered these things, a news story featuring the unmistakable interior of a Costco store caught my eye. It was filled with extra-huge flat screen TVs, and giant piles of socks. Its red, warehouse-style shelving stacked with coffee and rice and chocolate and cheese. 

All soon to be so expensive it could shut the whole place down. 

Many of Costco’s most popular items are imported and will soon be much more expensive for the company to source. Kirkland Signature Extra Virgin Olive Oil is blended in Italy with oils from Portugal, Tunisia, Italy, and Greece. That’s a 20 percent tariff. Same for its cheeses, the Parmigiano Reggiano from Italy, the Manchego from Spain. 

Its Basmati rice comes from India: 28 percent. Jasmine rice from Thailand: 37 percent. Lindt chocolate and Nescafe coffee, both from Switzerland, face hikes of 31 percent. Kirkland Signature Organic Roasted Seaweed from South Korea: 25 percent.

Either trade will stop in its tracks, or the stores will hike their prices. Or both. Will Canadian Costco stores be able to import directly from Europe and avoid the tariffs? Or will they receive tariff-hiked goods from the U.S.? The problem is a good indication of the complexities ahead. 

Meanwhile, Heather Cox Richardson suggested a motive behind the madness. 

She noted that Eric Trump posted on social media, “I wouldn’t want to be the last country that tries to negotiate a trade deal with Trump. The first to negotiate will win—the last will absolutely lose. I have seen this movie my entire life.”

Cut a deal with Trump. Get an exemption. If a country refuses, the administration will deal with specific companies. One by one. Pay to play.

A shakedown. 

But things may not go according to that plan. Targeted countries are imposing reciprocal tariffs on the U.S. while seeking other trade agreements to cut it out. Isolate it.

In Canada, Pierre Poilievre has signalled he wishes to work with the U.S. and to that end will negotiate the weapons contracts and expensive border surveillance systems it wants. 

Mark Carney has signalled he will not, and as Prime Minister is seeking trade and defence alliances with Japan, Europe, the UK, Australia and New Zealand — anywhere but there.

Meanwhile, the crashing stock markets are, perversely, a sign of hope. A check has emerged on the wacko world of Trump’s acolytes. The world of facts, and of things, both connected to actual, living, breathing people, is reasserting its power. 

From Tesla to tourism, both in absolute freefall, people around the world are making themselves felt, their presence heard. A mass protest across the U.S. on Hands Off! Saturday this past weekend drew over 5 million people. I saw signs that said, “Sorry Canada We Love You!” And HELP. And, everywhere, Hands Off! Our Democracy. 

Real life, actual stuff, the facts on the ground. Hold on to them. They are powerful weapons in a rabid war of empty rhetoric and stupid ideas.