The other day, a friend notified me, in case I had forgotten, that I was about to  celebrate a “threshold” birthday. 

Impressive, I thought. 

As a first-run boomer, I get to cross certain thresholds before the rest of my large cohort. Without betraying the actual number, let’s just say that I have already planted the three-score-and-ten flag on the dark side of the moon. 

The same friend informed me that because wisdom comes at unexpected moments, I should “pause” on the birthday threshold. “Nothing lights up memory,” my guru said, “like thresholds of self-awareness, defining moments that awaken us to possibilities.”

Human nature being what it is, and comparison the fuel of competitive living, I do glance, without passing judgment, at others crossing the same age threshold. Physically, I like to think I am running above average for my cohort, which is a fancy word for anyone I know in my age bracket. I still have lots of hair, my own teeth, no new body parts and, thankfully, no medical regime or treatment protocols. Pretty decent stuff at this threshold. But then I get stuck on the perennial riddle of proportioning my status to good luck, good living, or good genes.

Diminished agency as we age is a standard trope for the boomer generation. The older we are, we understand, the less we can influence outcomes on the roulette wheel of life. But, upon reflection, this pessimistic view of agency may apply more to the physical realm than that of the mind and spirit. The body is meant to break down. It is programed to deteriorate. There is a beginning, a middle and an end.  The best we can do is try to manage the speed of the collapse.

The spirit, on the other hand, gets more robust and appreciative and all-encompassing the closer we approach the final landing. One could argue that agency can increase with ageing  when it comes to our spiritual and emotional well being and  appreciation of moments of enchantment. At the later stages of life, we have gained so much more wisdom, gravitas, and savoir faire. These things can lead to a more relaxed way of being.

Although no one has asked me, while I am pausing, I am thinking of a recipe for growing old gracefully — while worrying this may be a vanity of late-onset profundity. When I see many of my cohort already departed, or diminished by illness and natural deterioration, I cannot help but wonder if  there might be a regime of habits I could formulate for my self-help diary. Life hacks for ageing well.

This is the “recipe” I will attach to my diary on that threshold date. I don’t pretend my personal formula will be helpful to others, but there may be components which might be worth a try.

1.  The body craves habits and routines. They might make us boring and regimented, but routines build resilience.

2.  Stand tall, stand straight. Posture keeps eyes ahead rather than down. Posture announces how we feel about ourselves, and is a signal of confidence.

3.  Sleep is the engine of renewal. Get plenty of it, whatever it takes to get you down (melatonin and magnesium do it for me.) Power napping can add years to your life by slowing the rate at which your brain shrinks and your heart beats.

4.  Movement is the slow-ageing elixir. Stretch several times a day, move slowly in your own style of tai chi. Run on the spot  and rotate your arms whenever you can no matter the looks you get from others in the queue or the shopping aisle.

5.  Muscles atrophy. Build strength every day with resistance exercises. No need to join a gym. Pushups, hand weights at home will do the trick.

6.  Falling is the great enemy. Balance preserves mobility. Daily balance exercises and walking poles at the ready.

7.  The less you eat, the longer you live is close to a universal truth. Smaller portions, less sugar, more vegetables. Fruits and nuts galore.

8.  Inflammation and dehydration are the stalkers of ageing: water, more water, fermentation and gut biome.

9.  Attitude is all. Find humour and goodness in everything you do. Kindness and generosity make you feel better about yourself.

10.  Live small, imagine big. Switch off all screens of things we cannot affect. No-news households are happier.

11.  Enchant everything. The more enchantment we live, the less our minds dwell on matters we cannot control.

12.  Read widely and work to understand other points of view.

13.  Try a hand at something  you think you suck at. Paint an abstract, pen a memoir, belt out a refrain, speak Spanish.

14.  Write it down. (Neurologists call it ‘re-consolidation’). A diary rewires how your experience lives in memory. It will help you edit your memory with the thread of aspiration and wisdom. Reconstructed fragments help us with the intelligibility of our lives.

15.  Staying curious is a good path to vigor.

16.  Don’t peak too soon. Late bloomers live a longer, happier life. Every birthday is a milestone AND a launchpad.

17.  Find a home and build your community where you want to bury your bones.

End of diary entry for my threshold birthday. How will it read a year from now?